Thursday, November 22, 2012

Full Support

I have been remiss to thank all who have sent us an e-mail, given us a call, posted a Facebook message or prayed for us over the past couple of months.  So, THANK YOU.
I know from a frank conversation I had with someone a few weeks ago that some of you don't know what to say or how to say it.  You don't want to ask too much or too little.  You have no emotional connection with Tulip--she is just a little Chinese girl with Down Syndrome. You are afraid that we are making the wrong decision, haven't thought through all of the ramifications or that we will be hurt during this process.  Some of you are just so busy with your own lives that Tulip hasn't crossed your mind since you first heard of her.  And so you say nothing.
I will tell you three very honest things:
1. We do notice and it saddens us.
2. We understand.  This type of adoption is unique.  There are many unanswered questions.  We are willingly bringing a child with a life-long disability into our family.
3. Despite the lack of support from some people, we feel an amazing amount of support from other sometimes unexpected people.  Look at this e-mail that Adam's boss sent to his boss today:

"Our sole consular officer, Adam and his wife, Carin, are adopting a Down Syndrome Child from China.  They are approaching the end of the process and will move on to the immigration phase shortly.  As best Adam can tell, he and Carin will have to travel to China sometime next spring – in April or May, most likely – to take care of things there.  He figures he’ll need to be away from post for about a month. 
Adam has my full support for what he and Carin are doing, and I hope the Department would support them, as well.  His absence, however, will put our three-officer post in a bind.   Accordingly, I plan to put in a request for a TDYer as the time approaches and when we have a better sense of when exactly Adam will likely be gone.  I would hope that our situation would be given careful and ultimately favorable consideration."

The part that brought tears to my eyes was "Adam has my full support for what he and Carin are doing."   

'Full support'
Not, 'Well, I told you so support'
Not, 'I hope you have thought this through support'
Not, 'That's nice for you but it's not for me support'  

If you are one who doesn't know how to support our family--you don't know what to say or when to say it, or you don't know if you even agree with what we are doing can I ask you do be honest with us?  Can you call us or e-mail us and tell us that?  Because if you do that then we have a place to start from--and hopefully, a place to move forward from {together} so that by the time Tulip comes home we have your

Full Support.

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